Life

it has been a whirlwind of sorts. since coming back from pandaland a year ago, life has been nothing short of a frenzy.

Perhaps I finally realized that I do have the control over my life and its going to be what I make of it. Its really that simple. Nothing else matter except yourself.

Get up on your ass, face your fears and things will just start to roll. Dont say I never share :)

Its been a good ride thus far. Had my heart broken but its ok, nothing a good night's sleep can't cure anyway.

Heads up and you will see me fly :)

A Ponder

The memory is still vivid, I remember we were cruising along an expressway and the taboo topic popped up. I was stunned and did not know how to react. What struck me the most was this sentence: A person cannot make any mistake, one wrong step and thats it.

Is that true?

Thank you universe

I never thought that I would feel this satisfied after a lesson. Usually, at the very most, I would be happy that I have sat through a funny and engaging lesson and thats that. But this week and the last, I have witnessed firsthand, what it is like to have a passion. Passion so strong it burns and lights the space so all those around can bask in its warmth and comfort. I feel honored and humbled. Honored to be given a chance and humbled that I am learning to emulate that fervor for life and for teaching. With them as guides, I know I can :)

Strange compulsion to record this

Sound: (knock at the door)

Me: (opens door. Looks at creature wearing a t-shirt that reads “fear of failure”, the shirt is covered in bloodstains.)

“You?!?”, I exclaim, “I thought I was done with you.”

“Apparently not, since you seem a bit flustered.”

“Shit, is it that obvious? Listen, I know now that comparing oneself to others is silly. We all have different life paths, so it is a futile act to compare one with another. Each human is here to learn different things and progress in different ways.”

“So why am I here then?”

“Because I still have those days when my confidence takes a nose dive?”

“You’re human, it happens.”

“You might as come in. We should probably sit for a while. But only for a day or so because I have work to do and I’m anxious to get back to it.”

“Why don’t we go for a long walk instead.”

“Sounds good.”

it spoke volumes to me and what i was/am going through. thank you keri s, i love your works :)

Goodbye and hello

its now day three into the new year and as the saying goes, the leopard never changes its spots, so yea i am late again, in trying to size up just what 2010 really meant to me.

ten things about 2010:

1) new friendships forged and old ones strengthened. really glad to have found people whom i can seek solace from in times of f r e n z i e d frustration. or when i am shopping alone and really need a second opinion and know that they are but only an email/sms away. feels good where i am now, friends-wise.

2) b-less. its has been two years, i think, cos i cant rem exactly when the cut was truly made. sometimes i look back and regret upon the decision made but its just the weakness getting to me. because i know, with all my heart, that that was the right decision. i am thankful for the love that has been showered upon me in those times but i also knew that it was time to move on.

3) completing the course in china. prior to beijing, i really was dreading the two years, to the depth of my souls, if i may, and really thought that i wouldnt be able to cut it. but i did. we all did. i am extremely proud of us, though sometimes i think of the competition (undercurrent/not) and will still feel stick to the stomach. haha. thats why i chose the other way out, one that i am happy with and that others beg to differ about. take that. the convocation(s) were bittersweet endings cos stre lingered on most of our minds.

4) which brings me to this, yuppssss i can has a tcm license. woohoo. dont think i deserve it but still happy with the lil card of affirmation nonetheless. just dont come to me for consult anytime soon ya.

5) flew to europe with my ahma! frankfurt-stuugart-paris-chamonix-geneva-interlaken-london. oh what would i give to go back! bring on the road trips again please :)

6) took a lesson on forgiveness. the two years that i was away, much happened. now instead of all money and love (yes i was frivolous) i pray for peace and closure, wrt the issue. it can only do us good. not to say that i have succeeded cos thats far from the truth but everyday i am trying.

7) am now more comfortable in my own skin. its taken me all of 24 years to get to where i am now but well they also say, better late than never.

8) after numerous trips to the orthodontist(s) and dentist(s) i finally got on my braces! i will embrace this journey with all my heart. abit emo, but hey this is my dear teeth we are talking about!

9) cant think of anything fancy to add. will update later!

10) see (9)

THANK YOU 2010! You have been good to me, not all good, but good enough! BYEBYE!

stre-d :)

寒窗苦读,为了它。　

okie granted, i did not spend a great deal of effort (no staying up past midnight sitting by the oil lamp whatsoever) on this last lap that would nicely wrap up my varsity life, not as much as the others anyway, i still hoped fervently that it would be enough to tide me through. and it was, indeed.

i think gratitude alone is not enough, so i will see to it that i really do put some of what i learnt over the past five years into practice, as a full fledged physician. someway somehow somewhere.

to have to receive the news while q-ing to get into the haunted mansion at the zoo was quite an experience by itself altogether. like: okies now the jitters are all coming frm thoughts of gg into the GUI mansion.

halloween was enjoyable, minus the missing money.

but today was just plain bleh, the earlier part of today at least. so lemme go out and get some fresh air.

right some wrongs baby :)

now that i am back..

and the stre is over;
two of my very good friends have left for beijing (again);
i am constantly quarreling with my mom;
someone calls too often and i would like to know why;
hope for her to find peace and solace (same person in the previous sentence);
i hate to think that we are suffering due to someone's misdeed;
wants to find my balance, soon.